My bio according to Thomson

For an upcoming internal tech-talk that I will be giving titled "Amber: Smalltalk in your browser, or, Tyler is a hypocrite."

Thomson, an esteemed colleague, tech talk organizer, and by far the hardest working Filipino I know, sent out the following bio attached to the meeting invite:

A decorated veteran of two wars (the Korean War and the War on Drugs), R. Tyler Croy is an Infrastructure engineer at Lookout, bringing with him decades of obscure programming language experience. Previously at Apture (and before that, Slide), Croy has now avoided working for Google as the result of an acqui-hire twice (and counting). At Lookout, he is responsible for ensuring the fidelity of our server infrastructure, and as such possesses an extensive duct tape library under his desk. Croy is a graduate of the school of hard-knocks and speaks five languages (four of which exist solely on the internet). He is originally from Texas (which explains his casual, laconic southern drawl), and enjoys mint juleps, stealing road dots off of the highway, and yelling at folks to get off his lawn. He currently lives in Vallejo with his wife, two cats, and pet charizard.

He knows me so well.